I am always amused by people who claim that they are “owt”, “good”, or any other adjective that can be used to describe a positive sense of one’s Greek self. There are just so many people out there who are sadly mistaken. You know who they are. Some of them are connected to you, whether you admit it or not, through some network. Some of them are your sorors, frat brothers, line kin, classmates, co-workers, or even family members.

These are the type of people that feel the need to big themselves up ALL the time. They are probably claiming to be the “owtest” such and such. By “owt” they may mean: well known, strolling/hopping beasts, respected for their process, etc etc. To those who know these people, even from a distance, its pretty clear that they actually lame and the opposite of “owt”. Behind this mask of owtness though, lies a pained and corny person.

And make no mistake about it. You do not have to be Greek to spot the type of lame that makes you want to kick them in the neck wag your finger at them in shame. If you are a person with any amount of sense and self respect, you too look at these people and shake your head in embarrassment for them.

As a member of a certain BGLO, it saddens me to see members of my sorority embarrassing me and the legacy of my founders by putting themselves on blast on public internet venues. For example, to be a member of a BLGO you have be first and foremost, college educated. So why the hell are your facebook statuses riddled in spelling errors? Take a step back from your owtness and proofread. If you claim to be so this and that, why are displaying behaviors that are antithetical to the values of your organization (excessive nakedness, mentioning your failed relationships, cussing every other word, blasting your questionable activities)?

I have compiled a list of pointers for these people.

Go hide under a rock.

Stop embarrassing yourself and your organization. Go hide your face and stop wearing your letters.

Put your foot in your mouth.

And leave it there. You sound terrible when you speak.

Disable your Facebook account.

This only aids in further embarrassment.

Go back to where you came from.

By this I mean the place that made you. Maybe it wasn’t their fault you turned out the way you did. Go ask for advice and take heed to any admonishing you receive.

Just cut it out. Seriously.

Its like the boy who cried wolf. If you cry “owt” and do dumb and questionable things resulting in an inability to verify said “owtness”, people will start to doubt you.

Don’t think that because people roll with you, you are cool.

No. Nope. Not at all. Its called group think. People are afraid to speak up and tell you about yourself because you are probably scary. Or worse, they have bought into your lameness.

Go to your nearest supermarket and get you a batch of shame.

Clearly, you have little to none. If you did, you would probably be more decisive about your behavior.

Before I start getting hate mail, I shall stop here. If you have spotted any of these lames, or want to add to the list of pointers, please share your perspective below.