Let me start off by saying, “Pause.”

The past few months have proven to be among the most fun, emotionally taxing, and financially strenuous times I have faced to this point. I have dealt with a cornucopia of things, probably no more or less than you have faced. In times like these, you learn what you are really made of.

Whenever things get rough people want to say, “Buck up. Turn that frown upside down.” Or the hackneyed saying, “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.” While that saying serves as an attempt at a quick fix, I think I’ll pass.

I came to this realization yesterday while I was in the midst of a meltdown. For about 2 hours, I felt like my world was slowly starting to burst at the seams. As I tried to fight back tears on the grimy streets of Philadelphia, I flipped through my mental Rolodex of Bible verses, positive quotes, and advice from my mother and grandmother in an effort to keep it together.

As I walked and reflected, it occurred to me that the lemons of life aren’t necessarily there to be turned into lemonade…at least not immediately. These lemons, also known as the everyday stresses of life, or the not so everyday formidable experiences, are gifts as much as they are burdens and pains in the behind. Here is my logic.

I’ve heard Kirk Franklin and Lupe Fiasco say the same thing: “Struggle is a sign that God loves you.” Though it seems counterintuitive upon first read, it makes sense. The struggle is where the good stuff happens, and life’s best lessons get learned. Its where you learn to call on your God, solidify your faith, flex and build up your inner strengths, and lean on your support networks. Its where you make mistakes to learn from, and build on, that wisdom we all admire in our parents and grandparents. Its where we go through things in order to build up our self confidence, and to serve as a blessing for others in the future.

Before you can get to the good part of life, you have to go through the valleys first. Yeah, they suck. You get all bruised and battered, shed some tears, feel weak, etc etc. But we need them as much as we need the good stuff. When I become a millionaire, I’ll enjoy my wealth a whole hell of a lot more because I experienced brokeness first. If I never experience loss, I may not learn to appreciate what and who I have in my life today, and express that appreciation going forward.

Trying appreciate the bad isn’t easy at all. For me, it is takes a conscious effort to experience the “bad” and not want to discard it from my mind, wish it didn’t happen, or swap it in exchange for a fluffy slogan. Instead, I carp about it, throw a mini hissy fit, and then thank God for it.

So back the lemons. True, they are sour and make you pucker up your lips and make funny faces. But without them, lemonade would just be -ade. Who wants to drink that??